(And congrats to Laura on her new book deal!)
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If the Shoe DOESN’T Fit: Thoughts on Rhyming...or Not
My daughter loves shoes, especially sparkly shoes. “Like Cinderella!” she cheered as a toddler. But unlike Cinderella and her lovely glass slipper, my daughter learned early on that the shoe doesn’t always fit. Too big and it’s hard to walk in without wobbling. Too small and squeezing your foot in just plain hurts.
I love rhyme as much as my daughter loves sparkly shoes. It’s my passion and my preferred writing style. I’ve sold several rhyming stories and poems to kids’ magazines including Focus on the Family’s Clubhouse Jr., Highlights for Children, Spider, and Ladybug. And I’m thrilled to announce that Zonderkidz will publish my debut picture book, GOODNIGHT, ARK, a rollicking rhymer about bedtime on Noah’s ark.
But though I love sparkly rhyming tales, rhyming doesn’t always fit the story. Sometimes rhyming makes the story dreadful and forced, perhaps even un-readable. How is a writer to know whether to rhyme or not? In keeping with Cinderella and her shiny shoes, here are three questions I ask to see if the rhyming “shoe” fits.
Question #1: Can I rhyme well?
Good rhyme is hard to carry off because it must also be paired with perfect meter. To carry that off you need to have a good ear for the rhythm of words. In addition, the rhyming words you choose must be unexpected and fresh. For me, the perfect rhyming story is one that flows so well that the rhyme seems organic to the piece. Accomplishing this takes lots of revision, fine-tuning and patience.
Question #2: Does rhyming fit the mood of my story?
When I first indulged my passion for rhyme, I wanted to make EVERY story rhyme and did so with disastrous results. My favorite failed example is a rhyming story I drafted about a boy who takes Splash, the class fish, home to watch over vacation. The fish, unfortunately, dies,and the boy must decide whether to replace it with a look-alike or confess the truth. Here’s my dreadful rhyming version of the moment he discovers the fish is dead.
“One morning at the end of break,
Jerome said, “Time to sup!”
But Splash, alas, moved not one bit.
“Look, Mom! He’s belly up!”
Even now, I cringe when I read that. Not only is it distressingly forced, but the mood and the rhyme don’t jive. I now reserve rhyme for light-hearted and humorous pieces. As for Splash, I wisely re-wrote the entire story in prose. The non-rhyming version of my fishy tale appeared in the April 2011 issue of Clubhouse Jr.
Rhyming Question #3: How old are my readers?
I once wrote a humorous three verse poem with fresh rhymes and impeccable meter. A perfect sell for the kid’s magazine market, or so I thought. Turns out, it’s fatal flaw was that it included a couple lines about algebraic expressions. Not something your typical rhyme fan is familiar with. Why? Because, as I’ve learned both as a former teacher and now as a mom and writer, the biggest fans of rhyming are the very young. Toddlers and preschoolers love playing with sounds and pointing out, repeating, and making their own rhymes. So, while I still love writing rhyming poems for the age 8 - 12 crowd, I’ve discovered that the pieces of mine that shine the most are the short and pithy rhyming pieces for youngest readers.
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To learn more about Laura Sassi and her passion for rhyme, visit her at www.laurasassitales.wordpress.com or on Twitter @laurasassitales
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